The game of love is played in the head and heart. Men and women really do think differently. To be honest, girls think guys are knuckleheads sometimes. It’s only because they don’t understand how guys think any more than men understand women.
Here are a few examples.
Men can compartmentalize. Women see the whole picture. That’s why you ask yourself if the date went well at the end of the night, and she has already named your third child.
Men can focus on the task at hand. Women become distracted by the forest, making them unable to recognize the tree in front of them. That’s one reason why men can hang Christmas lights and why women can’t park their car backend first into a parking stall.
Men think rationally. Women think emotionally. That’s why you pick out the cheapest birthday card at the store in two minutes, and she spends 20 minutes analyzing every nuance of how the receiver will interpret the card’s canned message.
Men can turn off their brains. Women can’t. That’s why men can go fishing for hours and women will worry about whether or not the teal napkins at your wedding will coordinate with the salmon on the plate next to the calla lilies in the centerpiece on the table, especially if Aunt Paula is sitting next to cousin Brittany who recently returned from her trip to Japan where she…
Men enjoy the moment. Women often can’t enjoy the present because of what might happen in the future. That’s why men can take a nap on the expensive designer pillows on the couch and women can only see how much it’s going to cost to have them dry cleaned if dirt or drool get on them.
Men want to have fun. Women do too, but only after the floor has been vacuumed, the homework is finished, the next meal has been prepared, and…
Men are generally more satisfied with themselves. Women are not. That’s why a woman won’t believe you when you tell her she’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen.
Men don’t notice details as well as women. That’s why you can happily drive your dirty pick-up truck around town, and all she sees are the water bottles and hamburger wrappers scattered on the seats.
Men want to go from Point A to Point B. Women want to experience the journey. That is why men’s sentences are short, and women’s conversations last for hours.
Men don’t have curves. Women do. That’s why you want them.
Men have testosterone. Women have estrogen. That’s why men want to get frisky, and women want to rock babies.
Isn’t it wonderful that we’re so different? Wouldn’t life be boring if we were the same? We certainly wouldn’t be attracted to each other if we were. Together, we complete each other.
If everyday items were designated as either male or female, they would further illustrate our funny differences.
FREEZER BAGS: They are male because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.
TIRES: Tires are male because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under them.
SPONGES: These are female because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: These are definitely male because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
HOURGLASS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because, in the last 5000 years, they’ve hardly changed at all and are handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.
Married men and women have probably discovered some of these frustrating differences by now. Enjoy them. Love them. Laugh at them. Celebrate them!