By: Kerdisha St.Louis
Everyone needs to know how to make themselves happy. Let’s face it 90% of the time life sucks. Things do not go as planned, we face trials, tribulations and hardships every single day and sometimes it gets overwhelming that we don’t think that we can get the energy to smile much less make ourselves happy. We also try and use other people as a means to be happy which is just a temporary solution to a maybe long term problem. I’ve come to realize that it is important to take care of YOUR mental health as no one else will do it for you.
Start by committing to doing one nice thing for yourself every day. I try my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small every. Single. day. Whether you feel like it or not, making the commitment means you’ll remind yourself on a daily basis to treat yourself with loving kindness and eventually it will become a habit.
It is also important to listen to how you talk to yourself, and the internal tone of voice you use. (Mine tends to resemble my mother’s in a lecturing mode.) On a day to day basis we often criticize ourselves in our own heads (I know I do) and that brings down our confidence and can put us in a never ending cycle of depression. When you love yourself, you know you’re good enough that you have to stop talking to yourself in negative terms.
Understand that you are NOT perfect. And I try to say this to myself everyday and believe me it is hard. It’s hard, because most of us have been getting angry at ourselves for all the things we do wrong all our lives. People get into trouble because they try so hard to be perfect and then they beat themselves up when they’re not.
Loving yourself means accepting that you’re stuck inside your own imperfect skin. This also means accepting yourself as you are right now, accepting the body that you have today and accepting the situation in life that you are in today. It may sound crazy but self-acceptance also means accepting your income and success level as they are. Recognize that it’s OK not to be making a certain amount by the time you get to a certain age and to not be as far as others are in their professional life or otherwise.
In my last post I spoke about getting rid of toxic people in your life, which can also be applied to this piece as well. Avoid tying yourself to clients, business partners, investors, or employees who make you unhappy. It’s obviously harder to take the same approach with family members, but there’s no reason to put up with people saying or doing things that are unkind.
And finally, take a deep breath. When you’re feeling stressed, overworked, or upset, simple breathing exercises can up your happiness quotient dramatically.